Howie Carr: Reflecting back on hacks this St. Patrick’s Day
Nobody asked me but:
On days like this, with the St. Patrick’s Day breakfast on tap, I almost miss Billy Bulger.
Almost.
At Halitosis Hall, whenever then-Rep. Eddie Markey would step forward for his annual beer and a beating, the Corrupt Midget would lean into the microphone and whisper:
“Eddie Markey… to a battle of wits, he comes unarmed.”
Now the same thing can be said of the entire Democrat party nationwide.
What do you suppose Mahmoud Khalil will miss most about living on welfare in the Great Satan, once he’s deported back to his native Third World bleephole country?
The infidels’ free speech or their indoor plumbing and electricity?
Sen. John Fetterman may be the first person in human history to become more articulate after suffering a stroke.
Whatever happened to those record-high egg prices?
Whenever you read sob stories about somebody laid off from the federal payroll “working remotely” since 2020, don’t you always assume it’s only remotely likely they’ve been working at all?
And from all the boo-hoo stories in regime-controlled media, you’d think the only people being DOGE’d are either veterans or disabled or both.
And we’re told Elon Musk always waits until a holiday to RIF these noble public servants — either Valentine’s Day or President’s Day, like those are real things to begin with.
Funny, all the times I’ve been fired (always by kind-hearted liberals), I never once noticed if they whacked me on Columbus Day or Arbor Day.
Here’s another sentence you never read in the state-run press except when Republicans are in power:
“Americans are living paycheck to paycheck.”
When Trump is president, it’s not unemployment numbers going up “unexpectedly,” it’s the employment numbers. Suddenly regime media distrusts BLS numbers.
Sad news that Twin Donuts in Union Square is closing after 70 years, but why did none of the stories mention the Allston landmark’s most famous moment in history?
That was when a Boston city councilor nicknamed “Cryin’ Brian” pocketed a thousand-dollar bribe there from a local billionaire developer, then claimed he didn’t dare turn it in for months because he was terrified of the old guy who had bribed him, and had to hide the dirty cash in the bedroom of his parents’ house where the boob still lived, unmarried, at the age of 30.
For that moment of comic gold alone, Twin Donuts should be on the National Register of Historic Places forever.
News item: the failing local broadsheet pulled the plug on its piss-poor cable TV show, “Boston Globe Today,” making it “Boston Globe Yesterday.”
The Democrat circular firing squad is just too amusing — imagine a statewide primary in New York next year between Chuck Schumer and AOC.
Isn’t there some way they can both lose?
So Bill Keating knows what a woman is, but Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson doesn’t?
Rachael Rollins, the disgraced former U.S. attorney, is now grabbing the big bucks at Roxbury Community College ($109,852) but do you suppose she ever tells her students how many times she flunked the bar exam?
“Racial” failed in July 1997 and February 1998 before finally passing it in July 1998 (when Maura Healey aced it, on her first try).
Former Lt. Gov. Tim “Crash” Murray feels Rachael’s pain — he too flunked twice, in July 1994 and February 1995 before he was waved through in July 1995.
But hey, flunking the bar exam is a tradition among both Kennedys and the local K-Mart Kennedys, like for instance three dim-witted scions of the Timilty, Creedon and Lawton clans, who have flunked a total of 15 times (so far).
Maybe there’s a joke in there somewhere for one of the handful of Hibernian highwaymen who still show up out of habit this morning Sen. Collins’ time:
“Faith bejesus, I never could pass the bar exam ‘cause there was one on the way home!”
Separated at birth: Rep. Rosa DeLauro and Keith Richards.
Sen. Tina Smith and Bride of Chucky.
Rep. Maxine Waters and Aunt Esther on Sanford & Son.
The 12 alleged johns finally identified in court in Cambridge Friday all got the same dinner from their wives that evening:
Hot tongue and cold shoulder.
U.S. House minority leader Hakeem Jeffries — putting the “hack” back in Hakeem.
It wasn’t that long ago that owning a Tesla made you a bona fide virtue-signaling Beautiful Person.
And every single African-born immigrant was a noble addition to our society.
Boy, have times changed — is there anything Elon Musk can’t do?
I’m old enough to remember a time when if you heard the word “Kent,” your first thought was of a brand of cigarettes with “Micronite” filters.
Now if you hear the word “Kent,” you think about jammed-up state troopers.
There’s Trooper Zachariah Kent, who made $118,780 last year, suspended for allegedly grabbing somebody else’s golf balls.
And Trooper Terence Kent, who made $155,750 in 2024, indicted last week in Middlesex County for allegedly grabbing somebody else’s — oh never mind.
Zachariah and Terence Kent aren’t related, but Terence Kent does have two other brothers on the job from Melrose — Seamus Kent, who’s been at the public trough since 2012 and pocketed $178,920 last year, and Michael Kent, who climbed on the MSP gravy train in 2014 and made $178,920 in 2024.
Terence Kent’s cop brothers have not been charged with anything.
Still, I wonder what Terence Kent was doing back in 2023 when he was suspended for “abandoning his post,” and if he then fled to yet another, different post.
Perhaps the MSP motto be changed from “To Protect and Steal” to “To Protect and Feel.”
Former Speaker Nancy Pelosi, age 84, on Friday demanded that Congressional Democrats confer on the budget with Rep. Rosa DeLauro (age 82) and Sen. Patty Murray (age 74).
But what about me, asks Rep. Maxine Waters? As a Congressional Democrat, she’s in the prime of her life — 86 years old.
Maxine was busy, though, thundering about how the country was headed “towards a civil war.”
A civil war? Really, Maxine?
You’d think the Democrats would have learned from the first civil war that they started.
They lost, and the Republicans freed all the Democrats’ slaves. It was the saddest the Democrats have ever been, at least until Nov. 5.
